


The Road To AngstVille

by Akira_Jikan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Holding in feelings until you say things you shouldn't say, Hurt Keith (Voltron), I'll add more tags as i go, I'm not really sure what to tag, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Some have a little fluff, add tags later, angst prompts, kangst, mainly angst tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-02 17:39:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16791622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_Jikan/pseuds/Akira_Jikan
Summary: Just a list of angst prompts that I've been wanting to write. Feel free to send me a request through my tumblr. Some would have parts, others are one-shots.





	1. You Know Nothing Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr: [AsianMC-AJ](https://asianmc-aj.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta-ed by Silvamoon
> 
> Want more? Send me a request!

Keith staggered forward, leaning heavily against the wall for support. He had just left the dining room, finally done with Lance's accusations of his recent behavior. A pang of self-doubt hit him as the memories of why the argument even began.  _ Maybe Lance is right.  _ he thought bitterly.

As, he neared his room, his vision became more blurred and watery. It hurt so much to breathe lately and he didn't know why.  _ Maybe this is my punishment _ , he mused before his vision went black and he tumbled down onto the floor, half of his body inside his room and the other half in the hallway.

Only his stuttering breath could be heard in the dark, silent hallway.

~The Beginning~

Coran had located an inhabitant planet that had yet to be subjugated under the Galra Empire's rule. While it surprised them, as the surrounding planets were already under the Empire's rule, they theorized that the Galra hadn’t found any useful material on the planet. Oddly enough, there were fruits, vegetables, and medicinal plants that were only grown on the planet and Coran had told them that they could restock their supplies.

So, each Paladin was given a list of their own items they needed to collect when they landed. None of them were given the same plants, as each one was exclusive to their assigned search area.

While everyone was getting ready, Keith had felt his instincts telling him to not go down, and he couldn't help but hesitate before stepping into his lion.  _ Coran said that the air was fine for us to breathe and there aren't any deadly animals. _ Keith reassured himself, trying to think positive. He had even seen with his own eyes the scan Coran and Pidge did on the Planet and neither had found anything harmful to humans.

When they finally landed on the planet, Keith didn't feel anything strange and none of the others made a complaint as well. Well, except for Lance about him having to do something like this but that was easily ignored.

A few doboshes into gathering the plants on his list, Keith began to feel light-headed. Pausing to catch his breath, he kneeled down and took deep breaths.  _ It's nothing, it's probably something that I ate earlier. _ He thought, before standing up once again.

Deciding to ignore it, Keith continued to scavenge for any edible ingredients, using a scanner Pidge and Hunk constructed to help. Thankfully with that, it made collecting easier and Keith was one of the first to return back to the meeting spot with all of his bags full.

Within the next ten doboshes, the other paladins had returned one by one until they were all there. Keith had noticed them, but his mind kept drifting off. The light-headedness from earlier felt worse and it made it harder for him to concentrate on his surroundings.

＼(＾∀＾)メ(＾∀＾)ノ

"Has everyone collected everything from their list?" Shiro asked, as he places his bags down and counting to see if everyone was here.

"Yup, I even found some interesting ones that weren't on any of our lists. I got samples of those," Pidge replied, double checking her list.

"Same here," Hunk answered, as he began to bring his bags into the yellow lion.

Lance grinned, as he crossed his arms and leaned against the bags slightly. "I got you, Shiro. I even got some stuff that wasn't on the list."

Pidge frowned, interjecting, "Did you check to see if they might be poisonous or something... and did you at least separate them from the ones we do need?"

The Blue Paladin paused for a moment, before laughing nervously. "Of course, I did. I'm not an idiot. Well, I'm gonna bring these to Blue and head back to the castle."

"Wait, Lance-" Shiro began but the Cuban had already entered the lion and its jaw closed. The Japanese man could only sigh, before turning to look at the final Paladin. A frown marred his face as he saw the unfocused look in Keith's eyes.

"Keith?" Shiro took a step towards the dazed male, being cautious since he's never seen Keith like this before. As he neared, he noticed how heavily the male was breathing and was confused by it.

Pidge watches, her body coiled in tension in case she has to call for help or to react Shiro takes Keith back to the Castle of Lions.

The moment Shiro places a hand on Keith's shoulder, the red paladin had abruptly leaned away, staring at the Japanese male in surprise. "Shiro?"

"Keith, are you okay?" Shiro asked, not daring to move closer. He knows that Keith would prefer to have some space.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about some stuff. Is everyone ready?" Keith keeping his answer short and evading from talking about it further.

Shiro decided that it was best to let Keith have some space, "Yes, we're heading to the Castle now." He paused, considering for a moment before continuing, "Are you sure you're alright?"

Keith smiled at his concern, "I am, Shiro. You worry too much."

Shiro sighs and pats Keith's back, before moving away. "There's a reason for that." He retorts, remembering all the trouble Keith used to get into when he was younger.

Keith huffs the smile still on his face but strained now. "Well, that's not much of a problem now, is it?" He turns to pick up his bags but sees Pidge watching him. Shiro notices as well and smiles at the short, Green Paladin.

"Pidge, you can head back now. I'll stay with Keith a little longer." Shiro reassured, seeing the hidden worry behind her lenses. She hesitates for a moment before nodding her head and heading to her lion with her bags.

Shiro returns his attention to Keith, finding the male already carrying his bags. "I'll see you up there, okay?"

Keith nods, a small smirk forming on his face. "Alright, but you better hurry old man." He called out, as he ran inside his lion.

Shiro stuttered in surprise before he quipped back "I'll show you old man." He turns and grabs his bags before running to his own lion.

Once inside and inside his chair, he looks out to check on Keth, still worried that the Red Paladin might not be able to fly back to the Castle. However, it seemed that there wasn't any need to since the Red Lion lifted off the ground easily and began to fly towards the Castle at a stable speed.

Shiro quickly followed after, speeding up so that he could match pace with the red lion.

After they reached their hangar and met up at the bridge with the other paladins and their two Altean friends, Shiro decides to dismiss Keith's odd behavior at the planet, thinking the male could really be just daydreaming or lost in thought and if there was something wrong, Shiro trusted Keith to tell him when the younger one was ready.

"Welcome back!" Allura greeted once the two entered the room. Keith glanced away, knowing the Princess is still cautious with him ever since they found out he's part Galra.

Keith and Shiro handed their bags to Coran, the Altean man using his own scanner to check theirs.

"It seems everything we needed was collected, Princess," Coran informed, as he put away his scanner. "I will take the ones that are filled with healing properties to the med bay." The Altean grabs a few of them, however, Pidge grabs the rest.

"I'll help. There are a few plants I found that I wanted to study," she explained, as she begins to follow Coran out of the room.

"And I'll bring these to the kitchen," Hunk grabs the ones tagged with 'food', Lance helping him out. The two head out, Lance's voice still being heard from the bridge, even with the door closing behind them.

An awkward silence fills the bridge once it's just Shiro, Keith, and Allura. Well, mainly for Keith and Allura.

"I'm going to rest in my room," Keith mumbled, as he scratched the back of his neck. Once he sees Shiro smile at him reassuringly, he heads off.

_ Maybe after a nap, I won't feel light-headed anymore _ , he thought. Although, he noticed that it wasn't as bad as it was when he was still on the planet.

He finally reached his room and hung his jacket. A sigh escaped his lips as he got into bed, feeling really tired.

_ I'll just take a short nap _ , Keith thought, as sleepiness quickly evaded his mind and soon, he was snoozing peacefully.

~+Five days later+~

It was dinner time and everyone was talking to each other. Shiro, Coran, and Allura were talking about where they should go next or about the recent data they collected from the Empire bases. Hunk and Pidge were talking about how to increase the Castle's defenses so that it won't have to rely too much on Allura's power. Lance would interject a few times; however, he would return to try and banter with Keith.

Oddly enough, no matter how much Lance tries to instigate Keith into arguing with him, the red paladin didn't seem to hear the Cuban causing him to glower as he stared at Keith. Rather the mullet-haired male was staring down at his plate with his hand on his forehead, holding his head up.

Lance narrows his eyes at the male, annoyed that Keith isn't replying to any of his comments. "Keith, hello? You there, buddy?" His frown deepens at the continued ignorance and he sighs loudly. "Shiro, something is wrong with Mullet," he complained, turning to look at the Japanese man.

Shiro looks over with a frown, glancing at Keith worryingly. "Just leave him be, Lance. He's not in the mood."

"But, Shiro! He's been acting like this for a while now!" he argued back. He turns to look at Pidge and Hunk, "You guys noticed too, right?! How Keith is always in his room now or that he keeps making excuses to leave the room! He hasn't even spent his usual time in the training deck!"

Seeing how Pidge and Hunk exchanged a look, Lance immediately knew that they had noticed too. From the corner of his eyes, he notices how Allura frowns and Coran looks at him curiously.

"Lance, calm down," Shiro ordered, the frown stretching further down.

Lance feels a twinge of guilt at seeing that look, but he can't help it. Seeing how Shiro has been giving Keith a lot of leeway lately, it wasn't fair. He ignores how the tiny voice of his conscience is telling him that it started recently and not since the beginning.

"No. It's not fair that you're always letting him get away with this kind of thing. We all know he's your favorite but why can't you notice us too?" Lance hated the waver in his voice, hated seeing the flashes of memories how often he was overlooked when he was younger.

Shiro sighed, running a hand through the tuff of his white hair. "Lance, this isn't about that. I'm not favoriting Keith over any of you. Yes, while I have known him longer, Keith can take care of himself."

"Are you sure about that? Because it sure doesn't feel like it," Lance snorted, as he crossed his arms against his chest.

"Uh- guys," they turned to look at Hunk, who was pointing at Keith anxiously.

Keith had both arms leaning against the table, while holding his head in his hands. None of them could see what kind of expression that was on his face due to his hair covering it, but they could feel the tension from his body.

"Keith?" Shiro asked softly, not wanting to startle the male, but it seemed that no matter how soft he said it, Keith abruptly stood up, his chair falling back and hitting the floor with a loud bang.

His hands went down to his sides, curling into fists, but he continued to look down. "If you're going to talk about me, at least talk about me when I'm not in the room," he bit out, as he slightly glanced up to glare at everyone, particularly at Lance.

Lance scowled in return, the tension increasing. "I'm surprised you even notice with that 'I'm better than everyone, so I don't need to listen' attitude of yours."

Keith growled, his right eye twitching at Lance's accusations. "I'm not- I've never even thought that!"

"Yeah, right!" Lance leans forward, his eyes narrowing. "Even at the Garrison, you were always alone! I've never seen you hang out with anyone and then you got into a lot of fights!"

"I just wanted to be left alone! I've never started any of them! I just- How would you even know anything about it?!" Keith's breathing was getting heavier and he couldn't help but wince when his headache worsened.

"I don't need to! Plus, you were always the one who threw the first hit! Look at what you did with James!"

A dark look passed through Keith's eyes, his clenched hands shaking at his sides, and his unnatural breathing caused Lance to feel slight guilty. He knows he's overstepped but he can't back out now, not when he can finally show them the reasons why it's unfair. Keith has always been treated with more praise and admiration.

Keith's icy voice cuts through the tension like a knife, "You know nothing about that. You know nothing about me. The only thing you know about me is what others think about me."

Lance scoffs, glaring harshly at the male, "I don't need to because every rumor about you is true. You're always by yourself, everytime someone talks to you it ends up as an argument, but most of all, you're always being praised when you never work hard for it!" The Cuban had lifted a finger for each reason he gave that showed how many times Keith proved a rumor true.

The others looked on the scene with worry, unsure of what to do. Shiro knows he should've had them talk about it a long time ago, but it always been placed aside because the war was their first priority. But now, he realises that the problems between them needs to be addressed first because they're meant to be a team, a family. But, how can they defeat Zarkon if they can't even talk to each other about their problems? How can they even calm themselves a team when they can't even act as one?

"Lance, that's enough-"

"No, Shiro. Let him," Keith cuts the male off staring determingly at Lance, even though it looked more like a grimace to the others.

Lance snorts, rolling his eyes. "You're right, I'm nowhere near done. I've never understood how someone like  **_you_ ** was always praised. How it was always you that was number one when you never did anything! How no matter how much everyone else tries to beat you, it was always like you were a step ahead of us!" A harsh laugh escapes him, as his eyes tears up from the frustration. "Even after you were kicked out of the Garrison, they were still talking about you!"

He growls, his hands reaching up to mess up his hair in annoyance. "Keith this, Keith that, it was everywhere! Even during the simulations, they compared everyone to you! Even now! You’re half-Galra, meaning you're half-alien. You still find a way to somehow make yourself different from everyone else! It's so frustrating! **_There isn't much about you, so_** **_how can someone like you be anything special?!_** "

The moment the last words left his mouth, Lance felt immense guilt. He hadn't meant to say that, he just wanted to prove to everyone that there were others that should've been acknowledged too. That Keith wasn't the only special one. But, he can't. Not after seeing how empty those violet-grey eyes were. Not when the words had already left him and had been said.

"I-" He stuttered, trying to find a way to apologize but he knew nothing he said could fix this. Not when he sees how Keith hunches into himself, making himself appear smaller.

**"No enough. It's better If I go. After all, I'm no one special and isn't being alone what I do best, right?"**

Keith's words were like a spear, piercing them right through the heart. Before any of them can get a word in, he swiftly leaves the room. Everyone was too shocked to move and so, no one saw how he stumbled, how one hand held his head and the other on the wall, or how his breathing became unnaturally heavy.

No, they only saw the emptiness and pain in his eyes. But more than that, they can feel how deeply this was rooted in him. It made them wonder, what did Keith really think of himself?

Surprisingly, it was Hunk who made the first move. He needed to go to Keith, especially since the other would need someone to be there after all the things Lance said.

However, before he can even get halfway across the room, he was stopped by Shiro.

"Shiro! I need to go, he needs someone!" He argued, feeling sympathy for the red paladin.

Shiro shakes his head, a frown deeply etched onto his face. "No, it's better to leave Keith alone right now. He... Just give him at least an hour, alright?"

Hunk looks into his eyes, disbelief at those words. If someone had said those words to him, he would want someone to be there. But, then again. He's not Keith and he was never close to the other. Maybe Shiro is right.

The yellow paladin sighs, nodding his head. "Alright." He decides to turn his attention to Lance, his best friend. It wasn't just Keith that he was worried about.

However, Lance avoided meeting any of their eyes, instead he just stood there with his arms crossed.

"Lance, you need to control yourself. I understand that you have some problems with Keith but that doesn't mean you have to go about it like that," Shiro reprimanded, looking at the male disapprovingly. While he likes Lance, he really does. There were some things that shouldn't be crossed or said and Lance had done those. While, Shiro knew some of the things Keith had to go through in life, he was still left in the dark a lot. But, even then, he trusts Keith more than anyone really.

"I know..." Lance mumbles, subdued.

"Do you? Because from what I've just heard and seen, it didn't look like it." The Japanese male sighed, his human hand reaching up to rub his nose. He looks at Lance tiredly, "Look. There's a lot of things about Keith you don't know about and you shouldn't trust every rumor you hear. Keith deserved the praise he received. He deserved the right to be acknowledged for all of his accomplishments. I would know, I was there helping him study late at night, I would see him study at the library or his room rather than eating. Everything he has done, he's put everything he could into achieving the top mark."

Pausing, the Japanese male watches how guilt and regret swims in the Cuban's eyes. He knew that feeling well, he would have probably thought the same things about Keith if he hadn't felt the urge to be so involved in the male's life. Even Adam had been concerned about him associating with Keith, having heard the rumors about the 'delinquent boy'.

"Shiro is right," everyone was startled, having not expected Pidge to suddenly speak up. She sighed, avoiding Shiro's eyes while explaining further, "When I hacked into the Garrison's system, I looked through all of the Kerberos files, even Shiro's personal file and Keith's personal file that was attached to his. I didn't know at the time, but after seeing how close Shiro and Keith were, I realized the Keith I read about is the same Keith we met." Her right hand reaches up to rub the back of her head. "I didn't really look into his file much but I remember being surprised because before joining the Garrison, he had low grades in all of his classes. However, his grades for all the tests were completed in high marks. After joining Garrison, it was the same, except for how his grades were in the high marks this time. But what really caught my attention was how he got into a fights before and after."

"So, it's true that he gets into fights for no reason?" Hunk asks, the others listening on curiously except for Shiro, who already knew the answer.

She shakes her head, an indescribable look appearing on her face. "No, actually. If I was in Keith's position, I would have reacted the same way... You guys didn't read what the other kids said to him."

Hearing this, Lance looks away, his words echoing back at him. He really did mess up big time, didn't he?

"I need to see him, I have to apologize," he declares determinedly, but just like with Hunk, Shiro stops him. "Wha- Shiro! I have to-"

"Lance, enough!" Shiro ignores the hurt look the other conveyed. "Just, don't. Not right now when it's still fresh, okay? I'll talk to him tonight and maybe by tomorrow, you guys can talk to him. Deal?"

The others exchange looks before nodding their head, agreeing with him. Shiro exhales, planning to head to Keith right now but notices that Coran was gone. "Where's Coran?"

"Oh, he left shortly before you began to reprimand Lance," Allura answered, a small twinge of guilt in her tone. She hadn't been sure at the time, whether or not to stop him, but it seems maybe she should've.

However, rather than saying a word, Shiro hastily left the room, heading to Keith's room. The others were surprised but quickly followed the male. By the time they reached him, he was looking inside the room but it was devoid of the red paladin.

They all noted how empty the room was compared to their own and it saddened them in a way.

"Pidge, can you locate where they are," Shiro urged, turning to face the green paladin.

She immediately turned on her tablet and looked through the Castle's system, "They're both in the medic bay?"

A surprised look crosses their features before they all began to run. Confusion and worry filling their minds as to what was going on.

＼(＾∀＾)メ(＾∀＾)ノ

Coran couldn't help but worry about number four. He had noticed how odd the other was behaving recently as well and had thought that Keith would've told someone by now but apparently he didn't.

_ Oh, number four _ . He thought, sighing.

Just as he turns the corner to the hallway that leads to Keith's room, the Altean man immediately notices a set of legs that laid on the floor in the hallway. Rushing forward, he crouches down next to the fallen male, promptly checking his vitals.

Coran notes how it seemed the male was struggling to breathe, the excessing sweating, and the pained groan that would slip out of him.

"Don't worry, Keith. I got you," he reassured to the unconscious male, swiftly but carefully picking him up. Once he was sure that he had the other safely in his arms, he quickly rushed to the medic bay.

The only thing on his mind was that he'll do everything in his power to make sure that Keith gets better.


	2. The Thanksgiving Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has been working hard in learning how to cook and prepare for their Thanksgiving Picnic. He wanted to do this all by himself, after all he just wants to make his dad proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have this as an individual work but I decided to add it here too because it's angsty at the end. I won't be deleted the work, just adding it to this work too. Anyway, not like anyone would really read my notes lmao.  
> Don't be afraid to send me a request on Tumblr.  
> Follow me on Tumblr: [AsianMC-AJ](https://asianmc-aj.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta-ed by Silvamoon

Keith looks at the items in front of him, checking the list inside his head. “Picnic basket, check. Green bean casserole, check. Mashed potatoes, check…” He carefully organizes the items inside the basket with every check he does inside his head.

He has to make sure everything is perfect, after all this is the first time he had organized the Thanksgiving food without the help of his dad.

Grinning to himself, he carefully picks up the basket and leaves the house. He begins to head towards Mrs. Tedesco’s house to pick up the pecan pie. Ever since he can remember, his dad has never been able to successfully bake pie. They have always turned out burnt or didn’t taste good.

So, when his dad took him to his first Thanksgiving Potluck at work with the other Firefighters and their families, Keith had taken an extra liking to Mrs. Tedesco’s pie. Since then, Mrs. Tedesco would bake an extra pie for the two of them and it soon became tradition.

He looks at his surroundings and sees how the majority of the plants and trees were turning into the fall colors. It was also a bit breezy but he didn’t mind since it feels nice to not have the desert heat on him for once.

Keith began to slow down from his speed walk when he noticed that he’s a house away from Mrs. Tedesco’s house. He walked up the driveway and onto the deck, pressing the doorbell lightly. As he stood in front of the door, he lightly pats his hair down and makes sure his clothes aren’t wrinkled.

Chuckling softly to himself, Keith can hear his dad’s words in his ears as if it was yesterday.

_“Keith make sure to brush your hair.” The fireman is giving his son a faux stern look, trying to get the boy to listen to him. But the boy continues to sulk on his bed, wrinkling his suit._

_His dad sighed and crouched in front of him to make them both at eye level. “We both have to be presentable in front of Mrs. Tedesco, son. She’s the Chief's wife.”_

_It took a few more minutes of his dad trying to persuade him before he finally gives in, letting the older man to brush his hair down. When Tex examines his son’s appearance, he notices the empty space where the tie should be._

_“If I have to wear a tie, you have to wear one too, little buddy.”_

_Keith pouts but doesn’t fight when his dad puts the tie on him, but continues to look at everything but his dad._

_Tex looks at his son’s face and can’t help but chuckle. After finishing the tie, he ruffle’s the brushed hair, messing it once again._

_“It seems you’re more of a little me than I thought.”_

The door opened, cutting off his musings, and Mrs. Tedecso appeared in front of him. She was a short, plump lady, appearing to be around her 60s and always had a lively personality.

“Keith! Come in, come in,” she exclaimed, as she motioned for the boy to get inside the house. She opened the door wider and moved aside, closing the door once he was in. “You came at the right time, Keith. I just took the pie out of the oven. How have you been? Oh, I haven’t seen you in a long while. You should visit more often.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Tedesco. I’ve been doing alright. Sorry, I have been busy lately.” He carefully places the basket on the kitchen table, before looking at her.

She chuckled, patting his head fondly. “Don’t be, child..” She takes the pie off the cooling rack and begins to cut it into even slices. “You should eat more, hun. You’ll stay short if you don’t eat enough.” While her tone was teasing, Keith was able to still identify the hidden worry behind her words.

Keith’s gaze turned soft as he stared at the woman in front of him, she was like a mother figure to him. “I’ll try to, ma’am. But, no one cooks as good as you.”

She huffed, shaking her head lightly. She places the slices in a container for him, being careful with them. “You’re quite lucky, young man. I don’t just cook for anyone.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not just ‘anyone’.” He quips back, enjoying their little banter.

“You definitely aren’t. You’re more special than you realize, child.” Before Keith could ponder that odd phrasing, Mrs. Tedesco places the container inside his basket and begins to usher him out again. “Now, you must go. Your father has been waiting for you long enough.”

Keith struggled a bit with holding the basket, while being pushed but he was soon able to carry it easily. “Thank you again, Mrs. Tedesco.”  
  
“Oh, dearie, before you leave, here!”

Keith blinked in surprise, staring at the red scarf that was placed around his neck before looking up at the lady.

A laugh escaped her lips, as she reached to pat his head. “So you don’t get too cold out there. Don’t want you getting sick, do we?”

A grateful smile stretched on his face, as he touched the scarf gently with his free hand. “Thank you.”

“Run along now, Keith. Stay safe~!”

“See you soon, Mrs. Tedesco!”

Keith nods at the passersbys, discreetly holding the basket closer to himself. His dad was waiting for him, he didn’t want to be late on this special day. With that thought, he began to speed walk.

_“C’mon slow poke. If we don’t get there soon, our Thanksgiving food will get cold.” A tall man teased him as he struggled to catch up, his short legs unable to match the man’s long legs._

_He pouted, grumbling about the unfairness of his dad’s longs legs and his own short ones. “I’m not slow! You’re just really tall and have long legs. When I grow up, you’ll be the slow poke!”_

_“Of course, son.” The man ruffled the boy’s long, fluffy hair, however Keith shrugged him off with a pout, having stopped walking._

_Stubborn bluish-violet eyes clashed with amusing bluish-grey eyes. The two had stopped walking and were facing each other now. His dad holds his hand out with a patient smile on his face. “I don’t doubt you will, Keith. You’ll grow big and strong, just like your old man.”_

_Keith stared at his dad, seeing the sincerity in his eyes and words. If his dad believed in him like that, then he should believe in it too. He reached out and grasped his dad’s hand, holding it tightly. “One day, I won’t have to keep reaching for you.”_

_A booming laughter came out of the man’s chest, as he pulled his son closer. “That’ll take a long while if you continue to throw away your vegetables behind my back, son.” At those words, Keith’s chubby, pale face turns pink having been caught red-handed. The Texan man swiftly picked up his son, carrying him with one arm while holding the picnic basket in the other. “I’ve known from the start, kiddo. There’s nothing you can hide from me,” he stated, continuing to tease the tiny child in his arm._

_Keith just wraps his arms around his dad’s neck and hides his face, too embarrassed about having been caught the whole time. He grumbled quietly while hugging his dad tighter._

_“There, there, son."_

Keith blinked his eyes as he took in his surroundings. He reached his destination but it seemed that along the way his mind had wandered off. He checked the time on his wrist watch and saw that he arrived right on time.

“He can’t tease me for being late,” Keith thought smugly, with a grin.

Keith walked past the gate and bypassed the obstacles around him. Finally reaching the spot, he gently places the basket down and takes out the blanket from it. He made sure that it was perfectly flat before placing the basket on top of it and sitting next to it.

He took out each food and placed them in a certain order on the blanket meticulously. Once he was done, he placed the basket on the side of the blanket, so that it won’t be in the way.

“Hey, dad. I’m on time, so you can’t tease me for my tardiness.” Keith chuckled wetly as he stared at the gravestone in front of him.

He reached out, lightly tracing his dad’s name, “I prepared all of these myself, did you know that dad? Helping you cook these over the years made it easy. Seems I beat you in the cooking area, dad.”

A gentle breeze passes through the area and Keith huffs, “You always did love to mess up with my hair, even after lecturing me about maintaining it.”

Keith shifted so that he could sit cross legged, having felt his lower legs starting to get numb from sitting on them. He made sure to tighten the red scarf, not wanting it to get blown away if a strong wind comes by.

“I saw Mrs. Tedesco today, she's nice like always. I can tell that she's worried about me but I don't understand why.” A bitter smile formed on his face, “At least, she doesn't pity me like everyone else.”

A particularly strong wind passed through the graveyard, causing Keith to panic a bit trying to keep the food clean. Once it was done, he sighed as he relaxed again. “Okay, I get it. Don’t be negative on Thanksgiving.”

Sulking, Keith begins to unwrap the container with the turkey when a thought popped in his head. A smirk spread on his face as he leaned forward, “Hey, Dad. You won’t be able to eat the food and you know what means? I get to eat all of these and no one can stop me.”

A laugh escaped his lips but it was cut off when Keith felt a light swipe at the back of his head, as if his dad had just reprimanded him. “What?” He looks around confusingly before blinking at the gravestone in front of him.

A few seconds past before a snicker escaped him, “It seems even down the grave, you can still somehow get back at me, huh dad?”

The atmosphere seemed to lighten and Keith began to tell about how his week has been and how he’s had to adjust his life to the orphanage. The food slowly began to disappear and some would be given to the nearby stray cats and dogs that were attracted to the smell.

When the sun begins to set and the sky was lit with dark orange, red, blue, dark blue, violet, and black. The stars shined brightly in the deep darkness of space and the clouds slowly dissipated.

“Hey, dad.” Keith softly says, as he lays on top of the blanket on his back. The containers having already been placed back inside the basket. “This is the first time you weren’t here with me for Thanksgiving… I really miss you…”

He shifted to lay on his side and curled to hug his legs to his chest. The sound of the crickets and the soft breeze slowly lulling him to sleep.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Dad.”


	3. Space Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the defeat of Sendak and the Komar Robeast, time on Earth became peaceful. The restoration of cities and the integration of other aliens coming to help had brought a sense of peace and hope. Additionally, it had let the Paladins rest and recover from their injuries during the fights. 
> 
> However, not everything seemed to be at peace. For Keith, peace had only caused buried feelings to resurface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Keithmas, My giftee is @lifeinredshades on Tumblr. I hope you like it! Additionally, Merry Christmas to everyone!  
> Their Prompt was: No ships, and a dark angsty prompt: Space Madness xD
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [AsianMC-AJ](https://asianmc-aj.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta-ed by Silvamoon
> 
> (A/N: Anything bolded is a nightmare.  
> If it's bolded but not italic, it's what was happening in Space Madness.  
> If it's bolded and italic, that is Keith's past before he went to space.  
> If it's italic and not bolded then it's just a memory/past event that has nothing to do with the nightmare.)

**Keith stared at his surroundings, finding himself floating in space. He didn’t remember how he had got here, but that thought was quickly pushed away as the other Paladins appeared in front of him. His stomach twisted into an uncomfortable knot at seeing their expressions.**

**"You have a lot of nerve questioning someone's leadership, seeing how you left us!" Allura's gaze was stormy as if she was a thunderstorm, ready to smite everything and anything in her path.** **Her voice carried the cold, unpredictability of the winter air on Earth, where one second it would be light snow flurries, and the next it turned to hail.**

**_"You need to stop questioning Commander Iverson's decisions. During the simulation, you are to follow his leadership, even if you believe it's wrong." The female Commander lectured, giving him an icy, stern look. The two were familiar with each other enough with how often Keith was sent to her office about his behavior during classes._ **

**_"You are nothing but a Cadet, while he is a Commander. You have yet to accomplish what he has, so how would you know which decision is the best for everyone?" Silence came and as usual, Keith stayed quiet. He's learned enough what happens if he were to speak._ **

**_"You are to follow his orders, understood?"_ **

**_A small nod._ **

**"Keith, you ran away. Maybe you should have stayed away." Lance snapped, glaring at him harshly. His eyes blazed with anger, an anger that has been slowly fueling itself for a long time.**

**_"What are you doing back here?!" He stared at the furious, dark orbs of his foster brother, . Rain pouring down on them as they stood facing each other in the front of the house._ **

**_"I thought you ran away? Why can't you see that no one wants you here! I never understood why my parents decided to take you in." He's always known about his foster brother's hatred for him, the other really never hid it. But, he did his best to be the best foster brother to the other._ **

**_No matter how hard he tried, it was never enough. HE was never enough._ **

**_Too lost in thought, he never saw the punch coming._ **

**"Why don't you leave him alone, Keith? Just drift off by yourself, Mr. Lone Wolf." Lance sneered, having turned to face him. The scorn on his face was like a slap to the face, the intensity in his eyes seemed to scorch into his soul.**

**Why did it hurt so much?**

**_"I heard you punched James on the face? Why would you do that?" In front of him, the leader of the group of students spats at his face, but Keith continues to remain unaffected._ **

**_Why would he? This isn't the first he's been in this situation and while he never starts it, he makes sure to be the one to end it._ **

**_The leader sneered, a smug look on his face when Keith didn't respond. "See guys, he's not even trying to deny it." His eyes focused on Keith again, his dark, murky eyes swimming with hatred. "Have you ever thought about why you're always alone? Why no one likes you?"_ **

**_He continued to ignore them because no matter what he said, no one would believe him. But, before he could walk away, the leader grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him closer._ **

**_"Why don't you fight back, huh?! You have the nerve to punch James but you can't even stand up for yourself when you're surrounded?!" The leader growled, the hate intensifying. "This is why no one likes you, you're nothing but a Loner, so why don't you just leave everyone alone?"_ **

**_Later, he was suspended while the others only received detention._ **

**"Are we really friends? Is there anything holding us together besides some messed up series of coincidences? I mean, what are we? Some chosen saviors? Do you really believe that? What are we even doing out here?!" He snarled, his heart twisting with all the complex emotions that ran through him. He was so tired. He'd been fighting his whole life and it felt like, no matter how hard he searched, he only got more questions than answers... And at this very moment, he felt more alone than ever.**

**_No matter how much he tried to be indifferent to everything around him, the pressure was becoming too much. Everyone had some sort of expectation about him and no matter what he did to prove it false, it only amplified their judgement. The only light he had had was his Dad, but now he's gone and he only had himself._ **

**_He locked in his feelings; the frustration, the anger, the abandonment, and the loneliness. They wrapped around him, binding him like chains and the more he struggled, the tighter they got. He tried to reach out to someone, to anyone, but he was cast aside. As if he was nothing more than a problem child. Soon, he began to feel suffocated, the feelings were overwhelming him and little by little he began to wonder if the struggle was worth the pain he endured._ **

**_However, during the dead of night when he took out his Blade, a sudden feeling of determination washed over him because that blade was a reminder that somewhere out there was his mother. He didn't need any other reason except that to keep fighting, to push through it._ **

**_Knowing this made his struggle a little bit easier and he continued to search the stars._ **

**Feeling the eyes of the people he was supposed to call a team, a family. It made him wonder if they even considered him to be a friend. His thoughts flashed back to when he used to be with them, before he fully joined the Blade of Marmora. His mind rang with Lance’s taunts, remembering how the other would often instigate him whenever they were paired together. He can recall the few times Pidge called him emo or a loner just because. Hunk’s joked about his Galra side, saying "I think turning Galra has made you a better human." All of it caused him to feel more wounded than what he showed. Plus, Allura’s coldness to the discovery of what ran through his veins.**

**But what hurt the most was Shiro’s words, he felt it echo back at him, as if he was still fighting him at the lab. “And I should have abandoned you just like your parents did. They saw that you were broken. Worthless. I should’ve seen it too.”**

**The pressure from everything that has been happening in his life had built up to the point where it all just crashed down on him. He tried to grasp at the fond memories that they created together such as the food fight, the party they had with the Arusians. But no matter how much he tried to reach for them, the memories slipped past his fingers like fine sand.**

**Slowly one by one, they disappeared from his mind, leaving him with the memory of their disappointed gaze.**

**┬┴┬┴┤ʘ‿ʘ)╯├┬┴┬┴**

Keith slowly opened his eyes, blinking up at the dark ceiling of his assigned room at the Garrisons. He tried to move, but his body felt so heavy as if he was made of lead. His thoughts began to drift off to his dream and the more he relives them, the tighter his chest felt.

Even after his apology, he had still felt as if something was missing, but the others didn't seem to find anything amiss, so he had assumed it was just him. Looking back, he begins to wonder if it was his own leadership that had caused the rift between them and him.

Why would they want him to be their leader when he's always making mistakes? Do they even need him now since they have Shiro back? How can they even trust him to lead them when he's abandoned them before, right?

The more he thought about it, the gradual tightness in his chest became unbearable and he couldn’t help but wonder if they really cared. Did they even think about him while he was gone? He didn't know but he wouldn't blame them if he never crossed their minds during their separation. After all, he’s always been pushed aside in favor for someone else.

He reached up to holds his head, trying to get rid of the intrusive thoughts but they just grew louder. His breath quickened as it became painful, it felt like his head was going to explode. Everything around him seemed to blur, he didn't know what to do to stop it. He thought he got over it, after finding his mother, but looking back on it, he had only pushed his problems back.

Even though he still felt the tension, he never thought to ask about what the others felt, too afraid to know the truth of how he was unimportant to them. Dizziness began to set in, everything was spinning. Then everything went black.

**┬┴┬┴┤ʘ‿ʘ)╯├┬┴┬┴**

He woke up to a hand running through his hair and when Keith opened his eyes, it’s Krolia looking down on him with a fond smile.

“Is everything okay, Keith?” her voice laced with worry.

He blinked up at her, confused. “I… Yeah. What’s wrong?” It was unusual for her to be here in his room. Since recovering from the defeat of Sendak and the Komar Robeast, he would meet her at the entrance of the Garrisons’ Cafeteria for breakfast.

“Breakfast has already passed and no one has seen you. Are you feeling sore?”

That’s right. While he had recovered from the majority of his injuries, his muscles still ached. “I’m fine, Krolia.” It took him another second to realize the first half of her sentence and he quickly sat up. “Wait, Breakfast is over?!”

"That's what I just said." Her eyebrows were knitted together, she seemed more worried than before.

Keith looked back at her in surprise and he reached for his tablet on the nightstand, opening up to see that he had a few missed messages. “Oh…”

“Are you sure you’re fine? There seems to be something bothering you,” she inquired, taking the tablet from him.

Keith shook his head, offering her a reassuring smile. “I really am fine, Mom. I just didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all.”

She continued to frown, but she changed the topic, deciding not to push it. “You must get ready now, the meeting will start in a varga.”

Keith couldn’t help but groan. While he didn’t mind going to these meetings and speaking up as the Leader of Voltron, the main dilemma was how some of the Garrison Commanders would try to take control of the meeting. They would use the excuse of the Paladins being Garrison cadets as a way to gain the upper hand but it only caused a rift between the Garrison and the Coalition.

Krolia’s lips lifted up into a small smile, amusement twinkling in her eyes. She patted the top of his head and stood up, her hand on her hip. “I will wait for you at the entrance.”

“Alright, I'll be there soon.”

Once he was alone in his room, Keith relaxed and rubbed his face. He hasn’t had a nightmare like that since finding out he was Half-Galra and even then, he was always preoccupied with training to become stronger or joining as many missions as he could. Even after what happened on Naxzela and the Blade missions he participated in, he still didn’t get nightmares.

He quickly dissipated the thoughts, needing to get ready for the meeting. He swiftly put on his uniform, ignoring the new scars added to his collection, and left the room to meet with Krolia, having noted that she took his tablet. He had other things to worry about, his own personal problems would have to be dealt with at a later time.

**┬┴┬┴┤ʘ‿ʘ)╯├┬┴┬┴**

In the following days, Keith continued to have the nightmares. It hadn’t affected his work, however, others’ were starting to notice how sluggish he became and his increased trips to the training ground and unhealthy amount of coffee intake. Most importantly, the Paladins had also begun to notice but they decided to give him space.

So when he was asked to meet the others at the Paladins’ private lounge, it surprised him. He was even more surprised when he saw that the others were already there.

“Were we supposed to have a meeting right now?” Keith asked, as he looked at his schedule on the tablet.

When no one answered him, he looked up to see the end of eye exchanges between the five of them, causing him to feel a bit isolated. He gripped the tablet tighter before taking a deep breath to relax himself, not noticing the others watching him closely.

“No, we just…” Lance started, but stopped, displaying an uncertain expression.

“We thought it would be best to give you some space because you seemed to be agitated with something,” Shiro filled in, staring at Keith with worry and other emotions the male couldn’t identify. “However, it came to our attention that it may not have been the best course of action.”

“What do you mean?” Keith replied, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He crossed his arms, unable to stop himself from tensing up.

Shiro hesitated, “Krolia told us everything.”

_When they were informed that Krolia wanted to speak with them, they were surprised at first, but had assumed that she wanted to know them better. However, they were completely wrong._

_“Krolia? Where’s Keith?” Shiro asked, as they entered the room. The only occupant was Krolia._

_“He is resting in his room.”_

_That surprised them but before any of them could ask, Krolia began to speak once more._

_“For decaphoebs, I’ve always thought that there may never be a chance for me to be a mother,” their hearts tugged, hearing the wistfulness in her voice. “Then I had Keith. He is the world to me and I would do anything to protect him, even if it meant leaving him behind.” There was an undertone of regret and sadness at those last words, a pain they would never be able to understand._

_“In the quantum abyss, I was able to see how much he had grown, but also what he had to live through. The more time we spent there, the more we experienced the warped space-time. It meant I was able to see his memories. I watched his childhood, the death of his father, the struggle he had to go through. I witnessed my son, who I left behind to live a happy life, suffer and be isolated by those surrounding him. I watched as he nearly died many times; Naxzela, his Blade missions.” She looked at each of them and they couldn’t help but feel exposed, as if she could see right through them. “And then, I observed his memories with you.”_

Keith stared at them in shock, not expecting that. While he appreciated that Krolia cared about his well-being enough to do this, it also made him feel frustrated.

“The reason we asked you to come here is because we wanted to apologize,” Allura said, wringing her hands together in front of her chest while she stared at him with sadness and worry.

He couldn’t help but feel defensive and started, “If this is pity-”

“It’s not,” Lance cut in, his eyes shined with determination and guilt. “I… When we first met, I said some things that I only said because I was jealous. The Commanders were always talking about how you were the best pilot and that you even rivaled Shiro. Without even knowing you or trying to get to know you, I had already created some kind of version of you in my mind. Even though we became close, I still fell back on it and I… I’m sorry for that.”

“Lance…” Keith frowned, “I never blamed-”

“No, you should. I’m the one who usually, if not always, started our arguments and I would always try to push your buttons. That was wrong of me.” Lance rubbed the back of his neck, looking off to the side in guilt. “I’m also sorry for what I said when we were floating in space. I shouldn’t have said that. No one deserved having that said to them.”

Before Keith could respond, Pidge spoke up next, “Just hear us out first, Keith.” Keith felt a little indignant, but stayed quiet anyway.

“I’m sorry for the things I said about you at the beginning,” Pidge started, sighing as she looked back at him regretfully. “Calling you Loner and Emo, I shouldn’t have said that, especially since I know what it's like to be called names. I was called a Nerd, sometimes even a weirdo and I hated hearing those. It made me angry and frustrated, yet I called you similar names so easily. It was hypocritical of me and I should’ve made sure you were at least okay with being called them before saying it. So, I’m sorry.” She bowed her head down in shame, unable to continue looking straight at his eyes.

Hunk cleared his throat, smiling sadly. “Keith, I’m sorry for calling you Galra Keith and making those jokes about how Galra Keith is better than you. While, I said those to try and lighten the situation, I only ended up hurting you even more. The Keith that I was able to get to know is the one who I think is the best because that Keith is the real Keith.”

Allura stepped forward, having been behind Hunk and Pidge. “Keith, I would like to apologize once again for my behavior. Even after apologizing to you, I still continued to act adverse to other Galra without knowing who they were. Additionally, in space, I shouldn’t have blamed your leadership for our problems. You were put in a position you didn’t want nor believe you were ready for. Yet, we all could’ve helped you rather than continue pressuring you. But, most of all. We turned a blind eye to what you were going through.”

“Krolia told us how you lost a Blade member on your mission when Shiro connected to the Black Lion again. While we took our anger out on you for not being there when we wanted you to be, you stayed quiet when you needed someone to be there for you. We were pushing you away and you let us because you thought it would be better for the team. You were always thinking about us and never about yourself.” Pidge interjected, a frown on her face. It had opened her eyes, the more Krolia revealed about Keith and while it was a good thing, it had still stung them.

Keith thought that it was over and opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off once more.

“Keith, I’m sorry for what I said. I never once thought you were broken or worthless. You are more than that and I haven’t really been proving that to you, have I?” Seeing Keith’s head shake, Shiro continued, “I’m also sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to hurt you but, I ended up doing it anyway. I want you to understand that the things I said in the fight wasn’t how I really feel. I told you once that I will never give up on you, but my actions proved otherwise. I am deeply sorry for what I did.”

Tears began to cascade down Keith’s face, unable to hold back any longer. “I… I always thought that I was the problem, always wondered if it was just me.” The others tried to protest but they were quickly shot down. “I’ve always been used to the judgement, the names, and everything that I grew used to it and accepted it.”

“Keith…” one of them whispered sadly.

“I just wanted to be good enough for you,” he whimpered slightly, emotional with everything. “I tried my hardest but it never felt like it was enough. I was never enough.”

“No, Keith…” Lance said softly, tears welling at the corner of his eyes. “You are enough. You’re important to this team, more than you think.”

“Lance is right. Also, she told us about Naxzela,” Pidge interjected, her hands clenched at her sides. “We talked to Matt and Coran and they told us how you asked for them to not tell us. You didn’t want us to know because you didn’t want to burden us with what happened.”

Keith tensed, not expecting his own mom to tell them that or for Matt and Coran to break their promise.

“We almost lost you and none of us knew,” Pidge whispered, her eyes brimming with tears. She wasn’t the only one crying since the others were as well.

“If I had a chance to do it again, I would take it,” Keith said, firmly. No matter how many times it took, he’d make sure they’d survive.

They wanted to refute him, but they knew how Keith would risk his own life for anyone.

“Well, you don’t need to rely on yourself anymore because we’re going to try and be better together. We’re going to be here if you ever need us,” Shiro informed, giving a watery reassuring smile.

Keith wiped his tears away and smiled back, the burden on his shoulders having lifted. “And I will do better so that you guys can rely on me.”

Unable to hold it in any longer, the Paladins wrapped their arms around Keith, making sure that he was in the middle. Keith returned the group hug, a small smile forming on his face.

“We will all do better, together.”

**┬┴┬┴┤ʘ‿ʘ)╯├┬┴┬┴**

That night, Keith was in Krolia’s room. They were sitting on her bed, leaning against the wall and Keith slightly resting against her. The space wolf covered the majority of the bed and them with his head laid on top of Keith’s lap. Keith gently ran his fingers through the space wolf’s fur, enjoying the feeling of the silky locks.

“Mom…” He murmured softly, not wanting to break the comfortable silence surrounding them.

She hummed, running her own fingers through his hair.

“...Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm tyring to go more on the approach of 'keeping everything in until it bursts' kind of thing. I've been watching too many dramas lmao.


End file.
